22-Dec-2023 Mindfulness

#Aline

She's gone to Japan.
I feel like I'm sinking down into the deep sea that I can not see the below.
But, it is fine, will be fine.
The past will soon pass, as always.

Sometimes my heart feel aching a lot.
Basically, I'm always ready to accept every feelings.
Despair, difficulties, conflict, sorrow and even farewell.

But I am a human as others, of course, I feel all of feelings.
I let my feelings flow, like water.

I loved her in heart, and sincerely.

I'm quite down-to-earth, So is she.
But I will never look mature in front of her.
Because I love her more than she loves me.

I am well aware that my mind could change as time goes by. 

Will she ever find out that I truely loved her?
I'm sure that she even knew that.
But there are so many obstacles between us.

I have to stay in the UK for more than seven mothes to study English.
And she wants to go to University, and so do I.
In seven monthes, I will be quite close to her, because I'll be in Korea.

We will meet up in the future, as friends.
As friends.

We decided to be friends.

Just thinking about her, It began to ache.
I should get relaxed now.

 

 

#Another friends

Called Mutaz is from Saudi Arabia, today was his last day of school.
We were kind of best friends.
I wasn't sad though, because he is not leaving.

He is going to be living here for more than a few monthes.

Eight of us, including me, went to a buger restaurant for lunch, which was quite good.
Next, We went back to Brighton and grabbed some drinks.

Unfortunately, the restaurant where we went was located in Peaceheaven.
Which was the town where Aline was living.
We had got on the bus number 12, which also was the bus that she had took to school.
Sometimes we used to get on the bus together.

I couldn't hold back my tears on the bus today.
Contrary to my feelings, the weather was clear.

I was trying not to get caught crying to my friends.
How sorrowful.

I repeat like a spell "It will be fine".
I also know that It will.

It will.

 

 

#Reading

I've got new book called "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down"

The author is HAEMIN SUNIM from South Korea.

I've heard a lot of rumours about him, I actually don't mind though.

What matters is the content of the book, not the writter.
I found that the book is approachable and much easier than the book I read before.

And also found that I feel more comfortable and can more concentrate when I read it, like watching films.
I'm intending to, planning to, for ten days, read it on my school's holiday.

But you don't need to be worried about me, I've been already enjoying my own life in this country :)

 

 

#Life

What do you find life is?
Nowadays, I can see all of people struggling to earn everywhere.
But you know, I'm seeing them compete to see who is going to be a better slave.

I'm fed up with the world, the system of the world.
Why do we have to make money our whole life like that?

I suppose, I hate the person who made the system first in the world.

Interestingly, of course, I feel like I lack social skills.
As already you know.

Tonight, I should cry a little bit, It worth doing it, especially tonight.

 

#Love

Hey ya.
Sorry? you have some questions about love?

Okay, go on.
....
hmm, hey mate, listen to me, please.

What matters is how many time you've spent with her. I mean affections, not the appearance.
What matters is how many feelings you've interacted with one another, not the sex.

You will be a child if you like her more than she likes you.
It can't help, that's just the way it goes.

Don't regret though.

What do you think life is?

Imagine that you are 90-year-old and lying on the bed.
Look back on the past that you've walked.

How would you feel if the past was filled with the memories of earning,
or filled with the memories of a lot of feelings such as happiness and delight?
even generally negative feelings that people have judged as negative.

I'm quite sure about that the money is just rubbish.

....

And from this point of view, I'm obviously sure that I'm lacking of social skills.

Such is life, mates.